i'm in denial... « idup sorang pompuan sayur..ehehehe...




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    Foolish Games

    You took your coat off
    and stood in the rain
    You were always crazy like that
    And I watched from my window
    Always felt I was outside
    Looking in, on you
    You were always the mysterious one
    With dark eyes and careless hair
    You were fashionably sensitive
    But too cool to care
    You stood in my doorway
    With nothing to say
    Besides some comment on the wheather

    Well in case you failed to notice
    In case you failed to see
    This is my heart
    Bleeding before you
    This is me down on my knees

    And these foolish games are tearing me apart
    And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
    You're breaking my heart

    You're always brilliant in the morning
    And smoking your cigarretes
    And talking over coffee
    And your philoshopies on art
    Baroque moved you
    You loved Mozart
    And you'd speak of your loved ones
    As I clumsily strummed my guitar
    You'd teach me of honest things
    Things that are daring
    Things that are clean
    Things that knew what an honest dollar mean
    So I hid my soiled hands
    Behind my back
    Somewhere along the line
    I must've gone off track with you

    Well excuse me
    Think I've mistaken you for somebody else
    Somebody who gave a damn
    Somebody more like myself

    These foolish games are tearing me
    You're tearing me, you're tearing me apart
    And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
    You're breaking my heart

    You took your coat off
    And stood in the rain
    You were always crazy like that







    You have a Calm Soul! Being calm and cool is what you do best. You collected thoughts and always, positive attitude make you very bright and logical. When there's a problem, you know how to approach it, and solve it. Your friends rely on you on their problems, and your shoulder for their crying. You are peaceful, and enjoy nature and freedom. You rarely get angry and hardly scream, which makes you good with kids. You seem to be in tune with the world and if anything goes wrong, you always bounce back.



    Inside Us All



    When I'm all alone
    And no one else is there
    Waiting by the phone
    To remind me I'm still here
    When shadows paint the scenes
    Where spotlights used to fall
    And I'm left wondering
    Is it really worth it all?

    There's a peace inside us all
    Let it be your friend
    It will help you carry on
    In the end
    There's a peace inside us all

    Life can hold you down
    When you're not looking up
    Can't you hear the sounds?
    Hearts beating out loud
    Although the names change
    Inside we're all the same
    Why can't we tear down these walls?
    To show the scars we're covering

    There's a peace inside us all
    Let it be your friend
    It will help you carry on
    In the end
    There's a peace inside us all


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  • Sunday, January 29, 2006
    i'm in denial...

    This shall be the longest entry so far...

    Beberapa minggu ni aku rase idup aku akan mengalami perubahan untuk kesekian kalinya.. n ternyata apa yg aku rase tuh menjadi kenyataan.. sad but true.. arghh.. sometimes even though we realized that life is so unpredictable, we just can't accept the truth... and that's what happened to me..

    Guess what? i'm working on nite shift.. with Guna (i think this is our 2nd nite.. heheh).. he's asleep not so soundly.. bila dengar dia batuk camtu, buat aku teringat sst yg aku taknak ingat.. aarghh.. kusut tul kepala aku skang ni.. aku tau aku kene buat keputusan dalam menentukan idup aku.. aku tau aku kene tegas ngan ape yg aku dah pk kan.. tapi.. iiskk nape mesti ade perkataan "tapi" ehh?? shit...

    Pagi 2 or 3 ari lepas, aku mmg tak betul rasenye.. aku xtau ape aku pk or ape yg aku ingat sampai aku terjatuh padahal kaki aku takde tersadung apaper.. sakitnye laa lutut aku coz i was landing on all fours.. tapi sakit lagi malu n tebal muka aku.. shit.. sib baik aku pakai jeans.. kalo baju kurung ke ape, mau koyak.. lagik tambah malu.. aku buat tak paham je n terus jalan.. sampai opis, rase mcm nak tercabut kaki aku.. i hate it when i couldn't control my mind and lost control of my movements.. this isn't the first time anyway.. kalo stakat nak jatuh tangga tu, dah slalu la.. chronic kan aku nih...

    Right now, i'm about to do the biggest decision in my life.. that decision will affect everything and everyone around me.. whatever decision i choose, i have to make some changes in my life.. i know i might not be fair but every action has its own consequences.. aku akan cuba utk kurangkan org yg akan jadik mangsa keadaan.. dan aku rase akhirnya aku akan mengalah n biarkan diri aku jadi mangsa asalkan semua org gembira dan berpuas hati.. ikhlaskah aku? haihh... kenape kite mcm ni?

    I wish everything could go away just like that.. but i guess life is never that easy.. i am willing to forgive.. but i can never forget.. why is it so hard for me to swallow the truth? dear heart, please... i can no longer hold it.. i've tried so hard.. so damn hard.. i hate being in denial.. it's when u know u're wrong, but u deny it.. or when ur heart tells u something right but ur stubborn mind denies it.. contohnya:

    diri aku : sudahlahh... dia maksudkan ape yg dia cakap..
    hati aku : tak... dia tak maksudkan.. really..
    otak aku : sudahh laa korang, jgn gaduh.. aku dah pening ni..!!

    kat situ je korang lehh bayangkan betapa kacau nye jiwa org yg in denial ni.. tuh baru satu contoh.. kalo banyak persoalan dan denials mcm yg aku lalui ni, lagi la.. ade sorang kawan aku yg menyaksikan kekacauan jiwa aku ni kate dia kagum ngan aku.. coz aku tetibe leh diam n nangis pastuh aku leh benti nangis n sembang ngan dia as if tade ape yg berlaku.. aren't we all great actors? errmm...

    ... and i'll be the first to go.. don't wanna be the last to know..



    coz it's all in my head.. i think about it over and over again...


    it's all in my head..at 12:50 am by corebeast

    Name
    February 17, 2006   08:22 AM PST
     
    What i'm saying is no need to wear KURUNG LABUH.. heheh.. pakai baju kurung biasa+tudung biasa semua pompuan melayu pakai.. Maknanya pakaian luaran tu x penting.. Kalau dah istiqomah TAK semestinya pakai baju kurung labuh.. DALAM tu yg lebih penting.. Hati tu kena isi la sikit˛ k... Heheh.. Tu je bro.. Jgn marah ekk..

    p/s: Xde niat nak mengarut˛.. ekekeke.. Pendapat peribadi aku je k.. Heheh..
    p/s: Dah Mush, aku xnak reply mengarut˛ kat sini lg.. Blog orang ni, marah owner kang.. hakhak.. Smile always ye owner blog ni.. heheh..
    mush
    February 16, 2006   01:28 PM PST
     
    what are u mengawrote hasrul buncit...
    all muslimah must wearing tudung maa
    who said no need...whose ustaz teach u?
    flying_currypuff
    February 15, 2006   10:38 AM PST
     
    Life is not complicated if u really feel and appreciate it.. (betah ayat Kadok.. heheh) Its only 1 way to change.. and the last choice.. Back to the ONE..
    U can cheat people around u by your smile, but you can't cheat the "truth" inside your heart..
    No need to wear Purdah or baju kurung labuh, its only inside your heart.. Maybe the time is coming..
    Its hard to change but its really excellent..

    p/s: sorila, BI x bagus sgt.. Hope you can reach what you seek..
    p/s: I'm not the alim guy.. ekekeke.. but i know whats going on around of me and i'm can appreciate it.. Hope you success my pren.. ;-)
    kadok
    February 13, 2006   02:37 PM PST
     
    i guess u should have the best rest..go for vacation might help u. forget everything. people would say the same. but no matter how far u go...u will STILL have the same memories in ur mind. entahla..life is so damn complicated. agree?
    papa
    February 13, 2006   01:09 PM PST
     
    ya loh!!!
    i used to see u cry
    but until now i don't know the reason why
     

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